When it comes to making money, getting promotions, landing big deals, or zipping past the competition, is it better to be trusted or to be liked?

A recent study reveals a surprising answer.

Full Transcript
In the world of success, is it better to be trusted or to be liked? That’s a great question. I’m going to answer that for you in just a minute.

For now, just know that both of these qualities are vitally important and you need them for success. I’m going to share with you the most important one here in just a minute.

Before I do that, I want to tell you about a study that I read recently, and the study went something like this: they took about 2800 people, and they looked at and analyzed their career progress. How many advances they had got, what kind of pay they made, the experiences that they had, overall job quality, all those kinds of things.

And what they found was something absolutely astonishing. They took the two groups, and they said, okay, Group #1, let’s look at trustworthiness, and we’ll gage all the people that have high trust factors. They had job performance, they were well-trusted, all those kinds of good things. Their performance, their quantitative performance was off the charts and fabulous. And then they looked at what kind of income they’ve made, advancements that they’d had, opportunities that they faced, et cetera.

Then they took the second group, and they said, okay, let’s look at likability scores. How much do people like them. Do you enjoy being around them. Are they buddies with the boss. Those kinds of factors. In other words, the qualitative factors that sometimes we overlook.

And then they looked at those people and said what kind of opportunities did they have, career paths, all those kinds of things. And you know what? You know what they found? They found something that bothers most people. I think it’s unfair. It shouldn’t be this way. But it is. And what they found was to be liked and likable is better than to be trusted in terms of success.

You have more opportunities, higher pay, better advancements. Your marketing campaigns, your speeches, your presentations, everything goes better when there’s a likability factor. People want to follow you and listen to you and do business with you when there’s the likability factor. And they will overlook your shortcomings and mistakes and weaknesses if there is a likability factor.

You know what we call that likability factor? We call this charisma. Charisma. When you’ve got charisma, it’s the magic potion that attracts people to you, gets them to want to listen to you, want to be on your team, follow you, pay you money, give you opportunities, advances, all of those things. Charisma is the magic sauce to making this all happen.

So how do you create more charisma? Charisma is actually a learnable skill and it’s something very similar. You first need to start with being likable. How do you be likable? Here’s one simple way to do this. Be what I call exocentric. What I mean by that is focus outward. Think about the other person. Think about their goals, their hopes, their dreams, their ambitions, before you think about your own hopes, dreams, goals, and ambitions.

And as you do that, as you focus outward, it’ll re-program or re-structure your mind and your subconscious and then all the natural cues, ideas, and conversations that you indicate to somebody that you really like them and that you’re likable will naturally come out and be part of who you are.

So my first and top suggestion to develop more charisma is to be exocentric, to focus outward on other people and help them get what they want. If you do that, people will like you a ton, they’ll respect you, and they’ll trust you.

I’m Joshua Boswell. Thanks for listening.

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